They propose the acronym ABC, meaning Agree, Build (instead of tearing down, “yes and.”), compare (what you see differently). I also particularly like the suggestion of starting with what you agree, so that you begin on a positive note. It will be less personal and it will make you more credible. The authors also recommend you start crucial conversations from facts -as also suggested in Difficult Conversations. As we expand the breadth of our stories, we become calmer and better prepared to having crucial conversations. To break the negative patters we must then look at all other possible stories and change our judgments and conclusions. When we do that, there seem to be a tendency where we take the story the worst possible way., which further escalates emotions. The authors say that when we engage in crucial conversations it’s easy getting emotional and upset. The core of this chapter is to encourage us to look at the facts and the stories from different and more complete angles. The authors say that our emotions come from the stories we make up, not really from reality and facts. CRIB, an acronym to avoid miscommunication and finding out what the others really want.Contrasting (when mutual interest is broken).When respect has been shattered the author suggests that you: When they don’t believe those two are in place, we get silence or violence. When our conversation partners know and believe both of those elements are in place, they can relax and really listen to what you’re saying without defensive barriers. Mutual respect = they must know we care about them.Mutual interest = they must know we care about their interests and goals. There are two ways to make a conversation safe: The best way to do so is to make the conversation safe. The key though is exactly that: being able to say what we want and need to say the most. And we don’t say what we really want to say. So we water it down and look for safer alternatives. The authors say that when we are dealing with a crucial conversation we often feel that our message and our words are the problem. You say you are OK, but I can see you’re notĪre you sure everything is OK, you don’t sound like everything is OK When you see someone being silent a great way to draw them out is to ask something like: Learning to spot and recognize the sign of a crucial conversation is not always easy, but it’s an essential part of being successful at crucial conversations.Įspecially look for signs of silence and violence. To look beyond the appearances it’s often great to ask questions such as “how can I do X and still do Y”. The authors also remind us that we often see difficult conversations as two opposing choices that cannot co-exist. Looking within yourself and asking what you really want is also a great way to avoid damaging feelings such as the need to look good and to “win” the argument. What you want for yourself, for the other(s) and for the relationship(s). The authors also suggest that you focus and ask yourself what you really want. We need to examine our own personal contribution in the problem. Starting with the heart means to start within ourselves first. This is basically the principle of why Ray Dalio pushed so hard in Bridgewater to have a culture of radical transparency and radical open mindedness where people are expected to speak up and share opinions. The more people can be open and put information inside the pool, the more likely it is we will reach good decisions. The author uses an imaginary “pool” at the center among the people conversing. Silence is much more common, and it’s very dangerous when it becomes company’s culture.Ĭhapter 2: Mastering Crucial Conversationsĭialogue is the exchange of meaning when people have a conversation. The more we stay silent, the more we are likely to eventually explode. We either avoid to engage in crucial conversations or we do so hyper-emotionally and in violent ways. The authors say that the two most common destructive patterns relating to crucial relationships are silence and violence. It’s because our emotions take over and our pre-cortex, the region that makes us humans basically, shuts off.Īnd we end up behaving like animals exactly when behaving like human beings is most important. The author says the irony is that the more important the conversations, the more poorly we handle them. In great companies crucial conversations take place and problems are never swept under the rag.Ĭhapter 1: What’s A Crucial Conversation?Ī crucial conversation has three ingredients: What differentiates great companies from good ones, they say, is how they manage crucial conversations. The author says that very often when you found yourself stuck it’s because of a crucial conversation that you are not having or are not having well. ? SUPPORT BESTBOOKBITS BY CLICKING THE LINKS BELOW ? MY FREE BOOK TO LIVING YOUR DREAM LIFE”
0 Comments
Leave a Reply. |
AuthorWrite something about yourself. No need to be fancy, just an overview. ArchivesCategories |